Still Overweight But Trying #1
Still Overweight But Trying #1. Today’s effort may be small, but it is still an effort. And no matter how much effort it takes, I’ll just keep trying.
Still Overweight But Trying #1
Morning – A Day That Barely Started
Let me be honest from the beginning.
Today, I didn’t control my diet at all.
I still ate snacks, felt hungry all day, and kept nibbling on things.
Breakfast was hardly a real meal.
No rice—just black coffee and water.
At that moment, I told myself, “It’s fine. I’ll eat properly at lunch.”
Lunch – Full Too Fast, Hungry Too Soon
Around 11 a.m., I went out for lunch with friends.
We had shabu-shabu: pork, pork balls, fish balls, tofu—everything.
Except rice.
I felt full at first, but it was the kind of fullness that doesn’t last.
By the afternoon, hunger came back quickly.
That was when I thought, “Yeah… this was probably a mistake.”
Afternoon – The Convenience Store Trap
By the afternoon, the hunger was serious.
My head kept repeating one word: dessert.
In the end, I lost to the voice in my head and ordered food from a convenience store.
Garlic bread with cheese (six pieces) and a box of cherry tomatoes.
The delivery rider brought it right to me.
When I received the food, I felt guilty.
But once I started eating, I honestly couldn’t stop.
I kept telling myself I wanted to lose weight,
but my hands kept ordering food without hesitation.
After eating, I even tried to comfort myself by saying,
“Tomorrow, I’ll start eating properly.”
Honestly, I don’t trust myself that much yet.
That was when I realized I really need to adjust my eating plan—
maybe drink more water,
or choose foods that actually keep me full.
Evening – I Didn’t Plan to Walk, But I Did
I didn’t plan to go for a walk today.
I had eaten too much.
But in the end, I managed to push myself out of the house.
Around 5 p.m., I walked slowly in a nearby park.
I walked about two kilometers, listening to a ghost story podcast along the way.
I didn’t even finish the episode before completing the distance.
Along the Way – Walking, and Feeling a Little Bitter
As I walked, I saw uncles, aunts, grandparents—
even people around my age—
walking past me effortlessly.
I thought to myself,
“Why does everyone walk so fast? I have long legs too—why can’t I keep up?”
The more I tried to follow them,
the farther behind I became.
I got tired, out of breath, and ended up laughing at myself.
I used to be able to run five kilometers easily.
This is what happens when you stop exercising for too long.
Unexpected Motivation
Along the way, I noticed an aerobics group.
Mostly stylish older women dancing confidently.
I wondered why younger people don’t join.
It actually looks fun.
But I didn’t join because I don’t know the moves,
I’m afraid I won’t keep up,
and honestly—I’d feel shy.
A little later, I saw a dog running freely while its owner exercised nearby.
At that moment, I thought,
“Even dogs exercise.”
Grandparents, uncles, aunts—everyone seemed healthier than me.
So why shouldn’t I try too?
Looking Back at Myself
I wasn’t always this overweight.
I used to exercise regularly and control my diet.
My weight stayed under 70 kilograms.
But stress from work changed things.
I became lazy, lost motivation,
and slowly returned to sweets and sugary drinks.
Now, I weigh 85 kilograms—exactly.
But that’s okay.
I’ll take it slowly and won’t push myself too hard.
Before, I wanted to be slim, beautiful, and have six-pack abs.
Now, I just want to walk without knee pain,
sit without groaning,
and have better health than I do now.
Setting expectations too high only makes me tired and discouraged.
But setting them too low doesn’t help either.
Humans are complicated like that—especially me.
Late Night – Ending the Day Gently
Dinner wasn’t really dinner—it was more like a late-night meal.
Almost 8 p.m.
A small homemade hot pot, eaten slowly while waiting to eat with my partner.
At 10 p.m., I ate four oranges and drank a bottle of water.
I felt more at ease—though I did end up waking up to use the bathroom all night.
From now on, I’ll try to control my eating better,
not just follow my cravings,
but do it for my own health.
To everyone who is trying to lose weight like me—
I’m cheering for you.
And… please cheer for me too.
Let’s keep going. 💪
